21 Mayıs 2023

A Fear of Being


Author’s Note: This story is pure fiction. All the characters are from purely fictional and not based on any real person or person.

Note to readers: This story is 14 Lit pages long.


Chapter 1

“Fe, fi, fo, fum,

We think Fiona’s needing some.

Fe, fi, fo, fum,

Fiona’s gotta cum.”

Their sport with me seemed to revolve around a game they played to feed their desires, to see what all they could get by with. Of course, I didn’t mind most of the time. The chant went on amidst much of their raucous laughter. They did that on some occasions, mostly on Fridays, sometimes on Saturdays too. It made me blush, but with a grin. Normally they were harmless, but they loved teasing me, though it was close to trying to manhandle me at times. It was usually the butches, but others helped them out. They were pretty harmless, though I knew some wouldn’t be if they thought they had an easy opportunity.

“Better take their refills and collect some nice tips,” Jackie, the owner said, a huge smile on her face.

Dutifully, I did just that. What the heck, the tips were always super when they clamored as they were doing. My shorts were tight with the hem allowing the barest of my backside assets to be plainly visible, especially when I bent over. When I had worked the floor, it was the victim of many pinches that came with some fivers to soothe whatever minor pain they inflicted, and on occasion some ten spots or better. That was good, but I had to move quickly and not let it get out of hand. However, the night in and night out of it was about to get to me.

“Mm, baby, I’d like to take you home with me. Whatcha doin after work, sweet cheeks?” one particularly lecherous butch pinched the bottom of my ass that hung out more than usual as I leaned over.

She didn’t stop there, putting a bill inside one of my boobs while she tried to pull the other one out. Not succeeding, she swiftly grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to where she gave my nipple a huge tug with her lips through my top and low cut bra to the delight of one and all.

“Damn, Jan, save some of her for the rest of us,” one said as they laughed.

Me? I gave them a polite smile. Did I mind? Not really. It didn’t happen as much as it used to and the tips were usually good. Making it back to the bar, I took time to sort out my tips, and put them in my purse hidden in the back of the bar. I’d count it all later when I was home.

Jackie gave me a wry took that had a smile attached to it.

“Don’t forget, you don’t have to go through it every time, just when you like,” she advised me. Then added: “But when don’t you like it?” she asked with a huge grin

Since it was getting to be too much at times when I worked the floor regularly, Jackie took pity on me and put me behind the bar. Jackie owned the Karnal Kitten, and as far as I could tell, she was pretty carnal herself, sometimes being seen going with one or another of the girls. There was no shortage of girls wanting to go with her as far as I could tell. She was a fairly big-boned woman, but everything was nicely distributed, including her big boobs and what looked like a tight ass; her face wasn’t hard to look at either. All in all, she was all sex when not tending to the club.

Working as a bartender at the Karnal Kitten was a pretty good gig for me, all things considered, and the regular pay was good too. As the name says, just about all the women are pretty darn carnal, thank goodness. What all they prefer isn’t known by me, but I’m fairly sure that it can get quite kinky with some, if not many, of them.

Some came to the club because of the ambiance, everyone being a lesbian, save the occasional one or two that were just curiosity seekers. Mostly, though, they all really come in search of love, either for the night, or more if it presents itself. They’re young, middle aged, even some older women, and of all nationalities. They’re a pretty good mix, and they liked to fill the dance floor, some actually dancing, others just teasing each other lightly as well as not so lightly.

The private goings on were usually sedate; that is, they were within reason, at least most of the time. Sometimes they pushed the limits, and those Jackie watched closely to make sure they didn’t go too far, and that it was pretty much consensual. One never knew if the law was around, and Jackie had no wish to tempt being closed up.

Me? Nature favored me with a body that was looked at, and lusted after by many, and I have to admit that I did do my share of teasing. All-in-all, I was pretty contented with how things were for me. I had attended a nearby junior college, and barely stayed interested enough to finally walk away with a two-year degree in business, then decided that I wasn’t interested in the regular work world.

Fortunately, I couldn’t resist the call of the club, and in no time, Jackie offered me a job, which I gladly accepted. As far as I’m concerned, I’m satisfied with how things have gone for me, as well as either taking a femme home, or bursa escort going to her home, when the urge struck me. Life was good for me, and I still made out good with the tips though I was behind the bar.

As I mentioned earlier, I always had a bra, the lift up type, though it wasn’t necessary to show off my tits, and a low cut top. That usually got filled with a few tips, but not always when I just worked the bar; they didn’t have to bend too far over the bar to reach my tits. As I’d walk away, many would lean over the bar and give my cheeks a good looking over. Some tried to pinch one of my boobs when they stuffed my top with the tip, but I’d quickly pull back with a teasing grin, a wink, and a smiling thank you.

No, I wasn’t an easy lay, in fact, I was very selective with whom I went to bed with, and I do mean that I was very picky. I did have a few that I went with more than once, sort of like friends with benefits, but that wasn’t often either. Maybe my mother’s words were still with me. After all, when one is a little girl, what a mother tells her often stays with her even if you’re not aware that it’s from what she once said.

I had friends, and they suspected me of a lot of things they never spoke about, and since I was always with them, they could never prove anything. True, I was tempted by a few of them, and some that weren’t my friends, but maybe my mother’s words kept me from trying to do anything about it.

It wasn’t until college that I was able to enjoy some of those who made my pussy tingle. Though that didn’t happen regularly, in between, I had the pleasure of masturbating as I thought of one or another girl that appealed to me. As I said though, maybe my mother’s early words of remonstrance stayed with me, and maybe I learned to enjoy the tease of waiting for my safe next girl. Yes, I was really particular.

Chapter 2

Then she came in! What a sight. When I saw her, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Instantly I saw a mixture I hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t just that she was stunning, at least to me, and to others, I was sure, but though she acted self-assured, yet I noticed little signs that she was nervous, and not quite so sure of herself as she initially let on. I was aware of all of that, plus the fact that she was affecting me as I’d never been affected before.

She was the picture of reserve and class, walking ramrod straight, and svelte as could be, hiding that bit of nervousness well. Every cell in my body was aware of her, including all of those that were making my feet tingle, which was very odd. My sexual nerves were on fire too, my pussy clenching, my tits wanting to feel of her hands and lips; even my ass tightened. Who was she? I had to know, but then I might soon enough for she walked to where I was tending the bar at my usual site near the entrance.

“Hi, I’m Fiona. Your first time here, huh?” my professional self asked her, my horny self barely hidden.

Again, that straight walk of hers mixed with what I knew was uncertainty.

“H—hello,” she mildly stumbled. “Yes, my first time here.”

“Welcome. If you weren’t going to meet anyone, not to worry, a gal with your looks won’t be lacking for company soon. In a minute they’ll will be introducing themselves to you,” I said in my most welcoming way, my smile thrown in with it as usual.

She lowered her head a little, then looked at me again with a smile that barely came out. I hoped I was friendly enough, but not too much so.

“I just wanted to see what it’s like here,” she said, struggling to overcome whatever fear she had.

“It’s a nice club; all lesbian. Are you okay with that?” I asked, wondering if she had thought it might be something else, maybe a mixed club, or maybe a straight one.

She nodded almost imperceptibly.

There was nothing showy about her, rather she was dressed in heels, a fashionable skirt and blouse that looked quite business like, and expensive to boot. Still, there was no way she could hide what was under her clothes. No way. Nor could she hide how gorgeous she looked. Dressing in tattered rags couldn’t have hidden that.

“What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Again, her face a little hidden by the slight bow, she looked back up with a small smile.

“No, I don’t mind; it’s Lauren.”

“Lauren! Hope you enjoy your visit. Now since it’s your first time here, what would you like—on the house,” I added though it wasn’t customary.

She hesitated, then asked: “A diet ginger ale?”

“Hmm, I think we might be able to do that okay. Be right back with it.”

I walked a few steps and met up with Jackie. “That’s some looker. Hope she sticks around; looks like that can’t hurt the ambiance,” she said, nodding to where Lauren sat.

“Yeah, real nice,” I said, “and she ordered a diet ginger ale.”

She snickered. I found the diet ginger ale and a glass, filled it up, and took it back to her.

“There you are,” I said as a cute femme made her way to her. “Oops, here’s your first hit.”

“Hi, bursa escort bayan I’m Ellen. First time here?” she asked.

“Yes, and Hi, I’m Lauren,” she caught on fast, this time no hesitation.

“You’re not with anyone, I hope,” Ellen tested the waters.


“Oh, good. Wanna dance?”

“Thank you, but no; I’m just seeing what it’s like here.”

I was about to walk away, until, “Fiona will vouch for us here. We’re all pretty friendly, right, Fiona?”

I wasn’t about to lie, but she was mostly right. “Mostly. New people do have to be careful though, just like anywhere else,” I said.

“Oh, Fiona, I’d stick my tongue out at you, but I’d hate to waste a good lick,” she said, offering her wares quickly.

Ellen was cute as can be, if a little forward, but that was expected here, but maybe not by Lauren, who caught Ellen’s suggestive drift.

Lauren covered her embarrassment before Ellen caught it.

“Uh, thank you, I’m sure it’s a good place, but as I said, I’m just looking for now, maybe getting used to the place,” Lauren said.

“Well, if you change your mind, just nod. Damn, but you’re one sweet looking babe,” she said licking her lips as she was about to leave.

It wasn’t over, at least not yet.

“Maybe she needs more, huh?” one of the butches caught the end of it.

Ellen gave her a mildly dirty look, started to say something, but decided against it, and left.

“Hey, girl, need some company other than Fiona? I mean, she’s one sweet lookin bitch, but maybe not what you’re looking for, huh? My name’s Kate; what’s yours?”

“Lauren, and thank you, but I’m just looking.”

“Hey, look no more. I can show you a real good time, and I mean good,” she said, getting too close to Lauren’s space.

She leaned away a bit.

“Thank you, but no thanks,” she said a little sternly with a tad of ice in her words.

“Hey, no problem. If you change your mind, or your pussy gets too needy, let me know.”

“Thank you,” the reserve in her voice unmistakable.

“Sure, doll. Be seeing you,” she said, and walked away.

“They’re not all like that,” I said, “but you do have to take care.”

They weren’t through. I tried to stay close by, maybe wishing I had tried my luck with her, but I sensed that she wasn’t ready for whatever she had hoped to find here. At any rate, I kept an eye on her, surreptitiously, I thought. However, every time I looked, I had to make myself quit. What I kept trying to do was to get a picture of what she might look like undressed. Pretty darned hot, I thought.

Her blouse wasn’t designed to be revealing, but there was no way she could hide what was there. Her tits had to be a little bigger than mine, but that was okay with me. Very okay because from what I remembered of her walking in, the rest of her figure wasn’t at all shabby. Sort of slender framed, she had nice hips and a pretty flat belly, and from the little that I could see, her ass was to die for, and so were her legs. It all added up to one gorgeous and sexy package.

That left her face, which I tried to concentrate on when I could force myself to stop wishing she was naked and I could see all of her, including her pussy which I already thought must be luscious and delicious. Speaking of pussy, mine was wet as could be with my thoughts and rampant desires making themselves known to me. Yes, my rarely had fantasies were running amok in me. She was really that hot.

Her hair was a rich brown, fine, sheeny, clean, and shoulder length. It showed off her face which was slender too, with fairly high cheeks, a tad long but not oddly so, and her lips were making me weak in the knees. That bottom lip was so delicately sexy and chewable, or suckable, or just kissable.

It had yet to occur to me to seek a long term, or maybe a permanent relationship, but I knew that’s what I was already wishing for with her. A dream? Probably, but I knew I’d go home alone and have some sweet dreams. My clit would get a workout too. There was only one thing that bothered me. Her eyes!

Brown, matching the richness of her hair, large and clear and beautiful, yet they had a weight in them that threatened to be heavy—a sadness. They made me want to hold and comfort her as much as the rest of her had me wanting to make love to her. She had what may have been a heavy burden. Did I really see that in her? Would I be able to help her, relieve her of it? That created a problem for me, one that I didn’t know anything about. Would whoever she might go out with be able to help her? I found myself caught up in wishing that whoever she went with would be up to it—I wished I could be that person. Yeah, I was already getting way ahead of myself, but I did sometimes like to dream, just not like I was doing as i looked at her.

Chapter 3

Just as I knew I would, I gave my clit a working over, but gawwd, it was so sweet. Even when I remembered looking into what I thought were her strife laden eyes, my bursa sınırsız escort heart filled with such a sweet desire and that only made my fingers more loving with the pictures I was conjuring up. This was all so odd, yet so wanted. Somehow I just knew that my carefree days of seeking and finding physical love would be over if I could just make the connection with her.

Connection! Would she come back? I had no idea. When she was about to leave, I’d asked her if we’d made a good impression on her. Though she’d smiled, her words had been noncommital.

* * * *

Lauren didn’t come the rest of that weekend, and not the following weekend. For someone I’d barely met, and had so few words with, I worried, and quite sadly too. Then on Wednesday in the late afternoon, I saw her in one of the malls. I thought to go and say hello, but instead decided to watch and see what she did, where she went.

I wasn’t sure if she’d welcome my company, at least that’s what I told myself. Christ, I was worrying about being rejected; that was something I’d never feared before, so why now? Was it that I’d fantasized about her, something else I’d seldom, if ever, done? I was feeling like I was a mess and I didn’t even know her. Well, I knew her, but barely. Still, she did fascinate me.

I made sure she couldn’t see me, or that maybe she’d walk up to where she’d see me. More silliness on my part, I was sure. Then again, my thoughts found reason for being as I was: maybe I could learn something about her. Maybe I might learn something that I could talk to her about that she might find interesting. In a bar? Okay, the club, not just a bar. She stopped to look in a window that was ladies wear, including some shoes, plus what looked like mostly intimate apparel. The suggestion had my pussy twitching and most likely dripping. This was one time that I thought that I loved sex too much, but I didn’t beat myself over it.

She was dressed much as when I’d first met her, so she was probably a classy secretary, or maybe even a professional, and was constantly looking at fine clothes. She went in and did look at a few pairs of shoes, but I noticed that she seemed nervous—just like she was when I saw her the first time. I filed that away in the back of my mind as a curiosity. It was probably nothing.

Next she went into the middle of the store and seemed interested in their intimate apparel, which I was certain was probably pricey. I watched as she looked at some fancy panties—really sexy with lots of lace and see through material. Then again, she looked around, her movements forced, jerky—were they from nervousness? That made me more than curious. In fact, I wondered if she was thinking of stealing them. She looked at another pair. Those she took in her hands for a little longer, then I was sure that I saw her lick her lips and once more look around. Surely she wasn’t up to trying to walk away with them. I saw her fingers as if fondling them, and her eyes nearly close, but it was all so quick, and she put them back.

The next pair she looked at were one heck of a sweet and hot looking pair. As if mesmerized, she picked them up also, but more boldly. She let herself caress them for a moment or two. Just then, as she moved them lightly, I saw what had to be her fascination with them. They were more than sexy, they were cut out where her pussy would normally cover—easy access for sex was my first and only thought.

She licked her lips and fleetingly closed her eyes, or was my mind playing with me again? Maybe it wasn’t, for a finger went through the open as if by accident, but just as quickly, she removed the finger fast, as if it was singed. Up to that time she had been stealthy, when quickly, it was as if she was aware of herself she put them back.

She seemed to become self conscious, fidgety, and started to walk away. My mind was roiling, not just curious, but working overtime wondering what was driving her, what made up her person.

One thing was for sure, and that was that she had an extremely shapely and sexily rounded ass that led to her scrumptiously shapely legs. There was no way that I couldn’t see that as she moved about. I had to be careful for though I realized that I was almost drooling, and not just staring too much, or too hard. Damn, but she was so sexy! Sexy and very mysterious. I was aware that my pussy was twitching steadily, and I knew that my panties were wet. I was lusting for her, and worse, she had me fantasizing like crazy.

She hadn’t intended to leave though; she moved to where the bras were. She picked out one that looked as if it was not only an underwire one, but also that it was made to fully show the nipples. It was too short to cover them, at least as best I saw it. As before with the sexy and frilly panties, she took a moment with it and acted as if she was fantasizing over it. She looked about again, then put it back. Before leaving, she did select a bra that wasn’t at all sexy, a fairly common utilitarian type. She went to pay for it.

I sneakily moved away to a place where she couldn’t see me, but then I thought I’d better leave lest she see me and suspect that I had been spying on her. As I left, I knew my mind would wonder much about her, but for the moment the only thing I considered was not to be seen by her. Then again, maybe I’d never see her again, though I hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

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