Crazy nightMy dad and I went out for a drink the day he got off probation. He wasso excited to be able to do what he wanted again that we planned tomake a night of it. Once we were about three beers in at my favoritebrew pub, I was feeling the truth serum effect of the booze and endedup admitting to my dad that I’d been working as a stripper for thepast two months. My dad’s a wild boy that never quite grew up so hedefinitely wasn’t pissed, but he was floored.”You’re what now?!””I’m a stripper now, dad. I uh- one night a week I take off my clothesfor money,” I tried to keep a straight face so he’d know I wasn’tk**ding but the look of disbelief in his eyes made me tense enough thatI had to laugh.He didn’t believe me. I told him I wouldn’t be making this up if itwasn’t true. I just couldn’t convince him so we dropped the subjectand just played a game of pool. During the game, he noticed a coupleof guys over at a table in the corner holding hands and pointed em outto me smiling, thinking it was strange. It wasn’t something you sawtoo often at the kind of bar we were at, but it was chill. Peoplemostly just keep to themselves, ya know?”Actually dad, it’s funny cause I forgot to mention, the club I stripat – is a gay club!” I’m pretty sure I would not have admitted that tohim if it wasn’t for all the beer in my system, but my dad’s cool guy,so I knew he wouldn’t really mind when it came down to it.”Hahahaha! I knew you were fuckin with me, you little punk!””Haha, but seriously dad, I take my clothes off for mostly men.””You’ve gotta be fuckin with me. If you’re a stripper-,” he pauseddrunkenly. “It’s a Saturday! How come you’re not up on the pole rightnow?””Haha, they don’t have a pole and I’m off tonight. I only work oneday a week.””Oh yeah? Prove it.””Dad you’re asking me to take you to a gay club.””I’m calling your bluff is what I’m doin!”So I pay our tab and call a cab to pick us up. While we were waitinoutside the bar, I think my dad started to get the impression that Imight be serious.”So what, does this mean you’re gay now?”I didn’t really want to admit to my dad that I was actually bi. Iguess it was something I was still coming to terms with. I’d onlyfooled around with a couple of guys I’d met at the club so I wasn’ttotally comfortable with the label yet.”No, but they pay well. More than girls, what I really like iscash!” We both laughed.The cab got us there I think about a half hour later. While we werestanding out front my dad must’ve noticed the big rainbow flag that’shung across our front window cause he said, “Huh,” in a sort of`well-imagine-that’ kind of way.So as we’re walking inside I can hear this gritty industrial songplaying. After we get past the entryway, I see one of the guys upon stage doin a suspension show in the leather straps in just a thongand boots. I elbow my dad and practically yell so he can hear me,”Ever seen that before?””Hell no! Hahaha! Where the fuck have you taken me?”My manager walks over and asks who’s the lucky guy, so I introduce himto my dad, and he just couldn’t believe I’d brought him. I could tellby the look on my dad’s face he now solidly believed this was my placeof employment, and that even though it was a shock, as wild as he waswhen he was my age, he was just happy bursa escort I’m not hooked on dope.I took my dad to the back and he bought us both a shot of rum.After a minute, one of the guys that works there came over in ag-string and told my dad the manager paid for him to have a lap dance.We laughed and I told him, “Nah dude, my dad couldn’t handle that.””Who are you, my fuckin mom?!” I could tell my dad was legitimatelydrunk at this point, but if he wanted a lap dance from a guy just toprove he wasn’t uptight, hey, who was I to judge?I ordered us two rum & cokes and we headed back to of one the privaterooms, which is really just a booth with a curtain.We took a seat behind the curtain.”This guy really your dad?” my co-worker said.”Yup, one and only.””Well, boss told me to show him a good time,” he said with a smile.This guy actually was gay.The stripper grinded on my dad, and my dad held him by the hips and grindedback. I don’t know what it was, but I remember getting a little hardwatching my dad grind on the guy. To be fair, my dad’s always been a goodlookin guy. My dad unzipped his fly, put a dollar bill in it, and stood upto have the stripper pull it out with his teeth. He even spanked the guy’sass, which usually necessitates a warning, but the guy seemed to have athing for my dad so he let it slide.Once it was over, we’d finished our drinks, so we headed back to the bar. Ilet dad get up first so he wouldn’t see my semi hard dick bulging in mypants. On the way back to the bar I teased him a little bit.”Looks like you really enjoyed that lap dance, huh? You, uh, discoveringuncharted territory in your old age?””Fuck you! Hahaha, you’re the one that works here. I’m gonna buy you a lapdance from the hairiest motherfucker in this joint.””Aw shit.”So he ordered a lap dance from Joe, the hairiest motherfucker in the joint,and we headed back to the same booth.Joe ended up grinding on my face wearing a banana hammock a little bitduring the lap dance, trying to make the situation awkward. I guesssomebody told him my dad was the buyer. I grabbed his ass while he did it.My dad was laughing the whole time. By this time, I was pretty drunk too.I felt like I’d proved I work here, and I’ve always hated bein at work whenI’m off the clock, so I had to suggest to my dad that we move on to thenext bar. My favorite spot to shoot pool at is right down the street frommy house, but unfortunately when the cab pulled up I could see the neonsign was off and immediately knew it was closed.”What the fuck?””Hey Derek,” my dad leaned over, basically leaning on my shoulder in theback of the cab, “Do you have any weed at your place?”I’d forgot since my dad was off probation that he’d probably wanna gethigh. He was actually the one who got me smoking pot when I turned 16. Igot home from school and he said if I finished my homework before 5, he’droll me a joint for my birthday.So we headed back to my place. On the way there, the conversation turnedto my dad askin me what made me wanna apply to strip a gay club in thefirst place?”Well for one it pays better,” I also told him about how it’s even harderto find places that cater to mostly women, and how I’d heard when you putup ads on craigslist you never bursa escort bayan know what you’re walkin into.Dad told me about how when he was in college he’d had a buddy that strippedfor side cash and he’d had some crazy stories about bein invited over toold mens’ houses to snort coke and was always offered a couple hundred gohome with em. He asked me if that’s what happens in the back room at myclub.I told him, “Nah dad I ain’t no ho,” and we both cracked up.”What’s the most you’ve been asked to do though?” he said, soundin kindafatherly.I didn’t really wanna get into detail though since he’s my dad so I said,”Not much, I just tell em I got a girlfriend and that seems to keep em frompushin the issue.””Well it seems like you’ve gotten pretty cool with a havin a dude rub hiscock on your face!””You too old man! I saw you spank that hairless jock tonight. I don’teven know how much I’m gonna have to drink to get that image out of mymind!”We got back to my place and drunkenly kicked our shoes off. I told my dadto put on Terminator 2 from the DVD shelf while I rolled us a couplejoints. I pulled out the weed from my stash box which I forgot was rightnext to my porn, thankfully the straight porn. Of course my dad noticedand slapped me on the back saying he keeps em together too.”Because you always get horny when you’re high? I remember,” we laughed fora few seconds. He’d mentioned that when we smoked my first joint on my 16thbirthday. “Me too, old man, me too.””Well it looks like we’re in for the night, so I’ll keep my libido tomyself. Where do you keep the rum, punk?””It’s in the cabinet above the sink.”He got up and to fumble around in the kitchen while I finished rolling thefirst j. “Alright, now where’s the shot glasses?””On top of the fridge,” I called back.By the time his drunk ass got back with the booze, I’d already rolled upthe weed. We sparked up around the same time as the biker bar scene. Idecided to roll the second one while we smoked the first one. So we’relaughin at all the parts we used to when I was a k**, “pal”in around likeold times, except this time he’s not the only one drunk and high. Istarted wonderin how hard he’d partied before I came around. Mom had oncesaid in reference to my dad’s drinkin and smokin that he was a lot worsebefore I was born.”Dad? I know you’ve always been a wild man.””Hell yeah.””What’s some of the stuff you used to do before I was born?””Well,” he started and paused with the red eye in full effect, “I drankmore. I didn’t work much. I went climbin a lot.” He paused again, passin methe joint without lookin at me. I knew there was somethin he didn’t wannaadmit.”Nothin crazy?””Well, I mean yeah. When we would drink, me and my buddies were fuckinmorons. We once broke into the liquor store and stole all the fuckin maltliquor, but don’t go around tellin people.””Yeah dad I remember.” He’d told me that story before once. Out in thecountry, where he grew up at that time, they didn’t have surveillancecameras and security alarms. Still, the owner lived right next door, andthey were lucky as shit they didn’t get caught. “Knowin you though, I betthat’s not the craziest thing you did back then?”He took the last drag off the joint, and said, escort bursa “Man – okay. I did acouple porno films in college.””Hahahaha, really?!” I had to bust his balls a little bit.”Fuck, you dragged it out of me. Alright, yeah. I did some porn. It wasjust a couple films, nothing kinky or fucked up. Just really normal,poorly shot, amateur porn. I don’t even remember there bein ascript. Fuck, why’d you get me drunk enough to admit that shit. I guessit’s not gonna affect my future now.” We laughed. To be honest, I wasn’treally surprised, but it was nice to feel even.”Don’t feel so bad pops. Odds are I’ve done worse for money than youhave.”He lit up a cigarette and said, “Oh yeah? Like what?””Well, some of my harder gigs have been these private parties that come inand rent out the place on Saturday nights. They come in already drunk andhigh. A couple groups have even brought their dealer with em. One timethey got me real fucked up on that stuff, and you think alcohol makes youdo stuff you wouldn’t normally do- ecstasy-“”Oh I know,” he interjected. We both laughed.”Well, I made more money that night than I ever had, but I remember theypaid me $300 to eat a guys ass through his bikini briefs and, now this wasalso Through the Bikini Briefs, but they also had me put my lips around thehead of his dick. But like I said, it was through the fabric!”My dad had this open-mouthed look of shock on his face with a slightsmile. There was an uncomfortable pause and then he said, “They’re turninyou gay!””Haha fuck you! It was the d**gs!” we laughed and the discomfort of themoment passed.He seemed to be still a little speechless though for a minute. After asecond he just said, “Wow.” He took a drag off his Marlboro and looked overat me, “They don’t make you wear drag do they?”I looked at him confused by the question and said, “No man, I’m the toughguy sorta preference a lot of our audience comes to us for. They have mewear cop uniforms and little uh-” I had to laugh and he started chucklingtoo, “-cowboy outfits with a g-string between the chaps. I think they putme in the tiniest clothes of anybody.”Dad said, “Better you than me nowadays.”I laughed and said, “Nah, dad I bet you still look hot as fuck in ag-string,”He yelled, “Fuck yeah I do!” We cracked up.We were geekin pretty hard at this point. My dad had been on probation formonths so I’d forgotten how low his tolerance was. Coincidentally, thatdimebag had been some of the most chronic dro I’d had in months. Itmust’ve been cause I was high, sittin there thinkin about my dad havin doneporn when he was my age, and seein how good a shape he got from all thetime he’d spent workin out lately, I kinda wanted to see him with hisclothes off.I know it seems wrong and weird, but as he taught me growin up, sometimesyou just gotta go with your instincts.”Haha, so I guess what we’ve got now is a passed down inclination to takeour clothes off for money.””Fuck, I guess you’re right,” he said in a matter of fact tone.”Truth is though, you probably weren’t very good at it since you’re souncoordinated.””That so?””Yup.””Boy, I don’t know what you do on that stage with your sparkle thong andyour pink cowboy hat, but when I did videos when I was good. I left some ofthose women so blown away they couldn’t even talk right afterward.””Probably just all the d**gs the director had em on.” We both cracked up.”Well, hot shot. If you think you’re so smooth, why don’t you show me thesefancy stripper guy moves you’ve been puttin on and I’ll try and keep astraight face.””You’re on, dad.”