II. Lasagna Confessions
Their kiss at the doorstep had been a promising surprise. Not that anything was certain to happen, thought Jason, but a kiss was a better start than shaking hands. During the day, while pondering about tonight, shaking hands had been his worst image.
A sexy pair of brown leather pants clad around her butt. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her body as she walked in front of him. Ellen moved with the same unusual elegance that had mesmerized him before, when he would secretly watch her at university. Her missing leg swung subtly as she walked, covered by the supple leather around the stump’s contours. She wasn’t wearing a shoe. Her one foot was bare and elegant, with shorter, straight toes and pink polished toenails.
– “Don’t expect too much,” she apologized in advance. “I love cooking, but I didn’t really have the time today to fix something good.”
– “You had my expectations run high yesterday,” he teased in reply.
– “It smells good, though!” he added after seeing her look back and frown with pretended insult. The same game of teasing seemed to continue by itself.
He looked around her room. It was simple, but tasteful, with many small accents revealing the hand of a woman.
– “Sit down,” she smiled, “make yourself comfortable. I need just another minute in the kitchen. Pour us some wine meanwhile, ok?”
She watched him as he sat down on the couch.
– “That is, I hope you like wine?”
Jason smiled. Beer was his normal drink.
– “I’ll try your wine.”
– “You’d better, I spent money on that bottle,” she replied, smiling.
Jason poured two glasses and had a sip of his. It was really good, he thought, even for a guy without taste for wine. While Ellen turned to her cooking, by the kitchen block in the corner the room, he got up and had a look at her bookcase. He loved looking at people’s books. It revealed a lot of who they were, what their interests were. Ellen’s collection did indeed.
Browsing through them, he saw a lot of psychology stuff. No surprise. Then quite a bit on politics, which he found interesting. Her novel collection was pretty particular; 19th century Russian literature, modern Latin-American – Garcia Marquez, Isabel Allende, Vargas Llosa, and then some authors he had never heard of. German looking names. Finally, in the bottom right he saw some stuff that made him curious. A collection of books on erotica and sexuality. Quite a bit. He saw Nabokov, Marquis de Sade and some ten volumes of work that looked like non-commercial releases. He browsed through the book titles, the author’s name not ringing any bells really. Birgit Sundholm.
– “You do that too, I see,” said Ellen from the kitchen.
He looked up, feeling almost caught.
– “Yeah, it’s a habit.”
– “A nice one,” Ellen replied. “I do it everywhere I can. Love it.”
– “No detectives,” Jason remarked.
– “Oh, I do read them. I just don’t spend any money on buying them.”
Ellen looked back, almost pouting.
– “So, is that all you noticed? Makes me feel common.”
Jason chuckled. Her collection was far from common. And he knew she was pretty aware of that.
– “Saw you have quite an erotica section. You write any yourself?”
– “A forward question so shortly before dinner.”
– “True,” Jason smiled, “we’ll keep it for desert then.”
She grinned at him from the kitchen, meanwhile moving stuff to the table.
– “Ok, dinner’s ready.”
He saw her put plates, cutlery and a salad bowl on the dinner table right behind the kitchen block.
– “You bring the glasses?”
Jason took them and the bottle with him, watching something come out of the oven that smelled great. He sat down opposite her. Ellen smiled and took her chair as well.
– “Hmm, this looks smashing,” Jason said.
– “Lasagna and some green salad and tomatoes. Help yourself.”
She took her glass, raised it and smiled into his eyes.
– “Here’s to …?”
She paused for a moment.
– “Boy scouts honor?,” Jason suggested with a grin.
Ellen giggled. “Ok, to the scout who saved me. Cheers.”
All through dinner, they never once had to look for something to say. Subjects switched naturally, and they loved to tease and challenge each other in a way that expressed interest. He could see from her laughs and smiles she was enjoying him. What he said. How he was. And Ellen did like him. Behind his smart and astute, almost macho image there was a sort of honesty that she found charming. Also, he didn’t seem bothered at all with her different physique.
Jason loved Ellen’s sharp and confident perception, her almost confronting curiosity, her perfect sensing of how he thought and felt about things. He knew he was intelligent; studying mathematics required sharp analytical skills, and Jason possessed them, he knew. All through childhood he had always been smarter than any of his classmates or friends. Felt smarter too. But tonight, this woman was showing him very different types of intelligence. It seemed as if she could look through him, as if she bahis firmaları was a step ahead of even his thoughts. Her relaxed self confidence was exciting. Jason found her terribly sexy.
He took a last bite of lasagna, then looked at her. No need to tell her this was a great meal. She already knew.
– “Desert?,” she inquired, lifting her eyebrow.
He chuckled and nodded, remembering too. He had only mentioned it in a sideline, but her eyebrow lifting told him she had not forgotten. Ellen got up from the table.
– “It’s supermarket stuff I’m afraid. I didn’t have the time to do any home made desert.”
She opened the fridge and took out the Haagen Dasz ice cream. He peeked, watching her agility as she balanced on her one bare foot. She did look smashing in those leather pants, he noted for the second time. He watched her switch the plates and put the desert on the table. Seated again, Ellen served ice-cream for the both of them.
– “Hmm, looks good,” he said.
– “If you want more, just take,” she smiled, starting to taking a bite.
He took one himself as well, watching her lips smooth over the spoon. She had a sexy mouth.
– “So, about that question I asked earlier,” Jason said, curious.
Ellen looked up from her spoon.
– “I saw a lot of erotica work, and some of it didn’t look like stuff you bought somewhere.”
– “Your observation might be correct, yes,” she teased.
– “Who was the author again? Some Swedish sounding name.”
Ellen nodded. “Birgit Sundholm.”
– “Yes, that was her. Is she? Swedish? I’ve never heard of her.”
Ellen gave him an uncanny smile. It further aroused his suspicion.
– “Nope, she’s not Swedish.”
He observed the look in her eyes, watching her for a few moments. Then he grinned.
– “It’s you eh? You wrote it.”
She lifted an eyebrow once more.
– “Yes. Birgit Sundholm is my nom de plume.”
– “Your pen name?”
He sat back. “Interesting. What do you write about then?”
Ellen leaned forward. She didn’t seem embarrassed one bit by his questions.
– “I mostly write shorter stories. Some are longer, novel-like. I actually write about everything that I find erotic. And enjoy others reading it. I don’t really publish it in print. What I got there is print outs I made for myself. I do publish on the internet, though.”
Jason was becoming really curious now.
– “Go on, please.”
– “Well, it’s a web site called “Literotica.com”. Hundreds of people publish erotic work there. Some of it is crap, but there are quite a lot of talented writers as well. It’s actually a lot of fun. I love doing it. And it’s very exciting to share erotic thoughts with others. Very different from, say, doing that in a relationship. It’s more public, which has a distinct attraction, I find.”
Ellen looked up and observed him. “Surprized?”
– “No, actually I’m not,” he replied instantly.
Jason would have been yesterday. But after tonight’s talk over dinner with this interesting and sexy woman, he wasn’t any longer. His steel blue eyes observed her with undeniable interest. Ellen enjoyed him doing that. She liked the directness, his pure curiosity.
– “What’s Birgit Sundholm like then, Ellen?”
She hummed in thought, but wasn’t put off balance by the question.
– “The classic answer to that is that she’s never totally me, and never totally not me. But sure, there’s a lot of myself in her. It’s hard to write erotica for a character you don’t identify with, after all.”
That seemed hard to argue.
– “Tell me more about her, then. You got me curious.”
Ellen grinned. Nice way of trying to find out about her by asking questions about her book character. And she played the game. It was fun.
– “Oh, she’s very enterprizing. Curious, intelligent. Very nice too, of course.”
“Yes, I would guess so,” Jason chuckled. – “And also very naughty,” Ellen added instantly, observing him.
That caused a twinkle in his eyes; she could see it appear. It was exciting to see his face hide so little. She wondered if he was really aware of how much an open book his emotions were to a careful observer.
– “Is she also… a monoped?”
‘That’s a very unusual expression,’ she thought. It caused a vague spark of recognition somewhere.
– “Yes, of course she is,” she replied. Her smile had a near challenging confidence. Ellen watched him nod with interest.
Then the spark hit fertile ground.
It had been on a web site. She had found it through series of web-links. Where? Ah yes, that guy from Norway; the sociologist…Ola…, no Odefjell, that was his name! Grunde Odefjell. Too odd a name not to remember.
There were a lot of associations to make, but they now flashed through her mind in perfect order. One of the first books she had read for a sexual psychology class. About two years ago. It had mentioned the phenomenon of erotic attractions to amputees, which had obviously intrigued her. She had done some web-searching afterwards, out kaçak iddaa of curiosity. And had first stumbled across an article from that guy from Norway. A sociological analysis of the way cultures perceived bodily imperfections. Interesting writing, she remembered.
The article had a couple of web-links added. And she remembered having a look at some of those as well. And a few of them had left her quite surprized.
Losing her leg had never been in the way of Ellen’s fascination for sexuality and erotic pleasures, even when not every man she had been with had shown the capacity to accept her being different. Their tough luck.
But these web sites had shown a different world. Secretive in part. But intriguing. It seemed they existed. Men who found it a turn on. And a few of them had used the term “monoped”. Her thoughts continued to flash, associating at high speed.
The way they had met at the coffee machine.
Him offering a ride, gallantly driving her home. The knight who came to rescue. The knight who just now had spoken of “monoped”. Ellen had never heard the term used in any other context before. It fitted, a bit too well to be coincidental. Her look became inquisitive now.
– “”Monoped”, I like that term.”
Jason smiled, somewhat insecure now.
– “It’s unusual too,” she added.
She was closely observing him, but her look remained invitingly open. His turned into an uncertain grin. ‘Why is she…?’ Then it struck him what must have triggered her: the term itself. Jason had seen Ellen read his thoughts before, tonight. And her pondering had already made him suspect she must be after something. This time, he had made things easy for her. If she’d ever have come across the term, a woman with her perceptiveness would now have made the connection. And it had every sign that Ellen had just about finished doing that.
– “Yes, it’s unusual,” Jason admitted, “as unusual as something I like, and haven’t told you yet.”
Ellen’s look became excited. “Oh?”
‘She’s pretending ignorance,’ he thought. But Jason knew better.
– “You’re extremely perceptive, Ellen. It was the term that gave it away eh?”
She nodded mystically.
– “Gave what away, Jason?”
Damn, she was teasing him into this confession. Every expression in her look showed she was enjoying this. A mild struggle, that he found exciting. He looked at her, curious to see how she’d respond.
– “I happen to find one-legged women extremely sexy, Ellen. It’s an attraction I’ve had all my life. Maybe it’s weird, but I have it. And it’s not to deny you’re a very thrilling woman as you are. For me though, you’re simply even more attractive with one leg than you’d be with two.”
His steel blue eyes now eagerly awaited her reaction. It had come out pretty easily, Jason found. With the proper nuance. He didn’t want to make it sound as if it was some sort of fetish obsession. Ever since yesterday he had thought about how to tell this to her. And this was more or less how he had figured to confess.
Jason observed her face. Ellen sat there, opposite him. Her feelings a mix of confirmation and excitement.
– “That was a brave thing to say to someone you met just a day ago.” She instantly hated that therapeutic response. He didn’t take it badly, though.
– “You look like a girl who can take it. Wouldn’t have told you otherwise maybe. I think I could sense you’d already be familiar with it.”
Ellen nodded with a smile. She wasn’t familiar, but she knew. And he sensed pretty well, she found.
– “I’ve heard of it yes. And I can take it.”
The look in his eyes seemed to mainly express curiosity. That surprized her a little. He didn’t seem to find it much of a problem. On the internet quite a few people with the same attraction had shown to find it a real burden, she remembered.
– “Maybe not. I just put a few pieces together.”
– “And you’re damn good at it,” Jason grinned.
She rolled her eyes.
– “It’s what I’m supposed to be good at, Mister Lewis. Behavioral psychology major, remember?”
Jason nodded, then resumed.
– “You don’t seem shocked, Miss Sanders. Perhaps I wasn’t expecting you to be, but still…”
Ellen loved the way he called her “Miss Sanders”. He made it sound gently provocative. She beamed, her hand trailed over his.
– “Nah, I’m not easily shocked, don’t worry. Maybe I even find it exciting, I don’t know yet, really. I had read about it before, so I knew it existed. I never gave it more thought than finding it intriguing. As a distant thing. Abstract. But now I’m talking to someone who ‘has it’, so to say.”
She giggled after that last part. Jason liked that “has it”. Ellen continued.
– “I think I’ve grown over finding it a problem, having lost my leg. But it has really never been a thrill for me, you know.”
She glanced up.
– “So, to be honest, Mister Lewis. It’s weird. But not unpleasantly so. I appreciate your honesty too.” Her expression changed from reflective to somewhat defiant.
– “And while I’ve never really kaçak bahis looked at it that way, it does flatter me to realize you find my amputation sexy.”
The last part made her chuckle. Jason winked.
– “Although you never really saw it…,” she added with a coy grin.
– “I haven’t no. But who knows…”
– “Yes, who knows…”
Jason’s expectant smile contained relief too. Even when he had felt pretty sure she wouldn’t be taking it too badly, there was always a risk that she would. Seeing his confession wreck the atmosphere of obvious mutual interest would have been a real shame. And that was putting it mildly. Yesterday’s flirting had turned into becoming pretty attracted. And Ellen’s insinuations were only adding to that. He watched her, the look in her eyes revealing she was considering, pondering something. She noticed him looking, smiled, and made a decision.
Then she stood up.
– “You know, Jason. In one of my stories I wrote about Birgit doing something…”
– “Oh?,” he smiled. “You’re making a man curious.”
– “I think I am yes…”
She smiled, lifting her eyebrows. Jason observed her, with some surprise, his heart pounding. She moved over to his side of the table, leaned against the corner and started fiddling with the zipper of her pants.
– “I don’t usually do things that Birgit does,” she whispered. “Not at first time dinners anyway. But I’m feeling I want to make an…exception.”
– “Hmm, I’m starting to love that word,” Jason chuckled.
Ellen smiled back, and with a slight touch of seduction she slowly unzipped, then let her thumbs sneak behind the waistband. She observed his faster breathing as the brown leather slid down over her skin and panties, revealing the lower of her hips.
– “Tell me what you think then,” she whispered.
Blood started pumping into his cock. With the tip of her thumb brushing over its contour, her stump exposed before his eyes, dangling lightly as it sprung free. She contracted the muscles, staring down at his mesmerized look. His excitement was silently obvious.
– “It’s every bit as exciting as I imagined, Ellen,” he spoke after almost a minute.
– “It’s touchable,” she smiled in slow response.
She lifted her stump, resting a hand on the table for balance. His hand reached out almost reluctantly. The fingertips exploring caused a gentle tickle, more intense when they raked over the long straight scar at the end.
– “You’re touching it as if it’s your first…,” Ellen spoke softly.
– “It is, Ellen. And it’s beautiful.”
– “I’m glad you like it. Feels weird to see you like it, but it’s too obvious to remain unnoticed.”
Ellen giggled softly, her eyes noticeably moving over his crotch that was unable to hide splendid arousal. Jason noticed her glance.
– “I told you, didn’t I!?”
– “I guess I had to see to believe,” Ellen teased.
She sat down on the table then, moving her leg onto his chair.
– “You know, Jason. In that story, Birgit continues by letting someone take her pants off…”
Her toes wiggled, her smile became defiant. It wasn’t hard for Jason to get the hint, and he started to slide her leather pants down her slender leg. It dropped to the floor with slow ease. The palm of his hand moved up over the now bare skin of her one leg, Jason looking up at her.
– “I get this feeling I need to soon read more about Birgit’s adventures, Ellen. What err… what happens next then, in this… intriguing story?”
Ellen hummed in pretended thought. She nibbled her finger.
– “Let me think… it’s been a while since I wrote it, you know.”
Jason’s eyes gave her a smiling “yeah, sure”. Then he noted another twinkle.
– “Just to refresh my memory, maybe you could fetch me the story?” Ellen grinned.
He was already standing up.
– “Oh sure, tell me which one it is?” – “It’s the one on the left in that row below, called “Revelations”.”
She couldn’t hide a giggle of pleasure as she watched him frantically search for the story. After some searching, he came up with the right one and walked back to the table, sitting down again.
– “It’s around page four,” she guided him, watching him browse through the story.
– “Hmm, interesting writing, Ellen… Very interesting.”
She smiled, excited too. Seeing him read about something they were partly performing at the same time created a weird sense of thrill.
– “…”Slowly and seductively, she took off her sweater, revealing her ample breasts…”,” Jason read out.
– “No! That’s page six, you moved too far!,” Ellen laughed.
– “Um, wouldn’t mind being there, though,” he winked in response.
– “I bet you wouldn’t!,” giggled Ellen.
She slid off the table, rather suddenly.
– “Let’s go sit more comfortable.”
He nodded and got up as well, his eyes following Ellen as she hopped toward the couch in the other corner.
– “What about the book?” he asked teasingly.
– “Oh, I know the book,” she grinned, winking.
He walked over and sat down next to her. Ellen leaned into him, sliding her leg over his. They looked at each other. His face turned serious. Ellen’s already was. Tension was mounting now, triggered by all their teasing earlier, built up further by the distinctly erotic exploration. Rapidly.